Newsletter March/April 2025: Equanimity

At the beginning of this year, instead of making a traditional resolution, I chose to focus on a single word—equanimity. I wasn’t entirely sure why that word came to me, but it felt important. It felt like something I wanted to embody more deeply in my day-to-day life. And at first, I really did. I noticed a sense of calm and flow moving through me, even when things around me weren’t necessarily calm. Life still happened—unexpected turns, challenges, joyful moments too—but I felt less tossed around. There was space between me and the world. I could respond instead of react.

Then life, as it does, got busy. I forgot. Not completely, but I let the practice of equanimity drift to the background. Until this month, when Dr. Lori named equanimity as our theme for the Vital Living community. I had to laugh—of course this was the word. Of course it’s coming back around to tap me on the shoulder and remind me.

So what is equanimity?

Technically, it means “mental calmness, composure, and evenness of temper, especially in a difficult situation.”

But to me, equanimity is about being centered. When I’m in my center, I’m no longer pulled to react—whether it’s to something difficult or to something joyful. Instead of swinging to extremes, I can stay grounded. I can respond with clarity and intention.

Lately, I’ve been picturing equanimity like an old-fashioned scale—one of those balancing ones with two trays. On one side are the “negative” things: disappointments, frustrations, fear. On the other side are the “positive” things: praise, excitement, joy. Both sides are part of life. But equanimity is staying in the center, not tipping too far either way. It’s not about being numb or indifferent—it’s about remaining connected to a deeper part of myself that isn’t defined by outer events.

For me, that place of center is where my soul lives. And when I can stay in that space, everything else quiets down. I’m not constantly pulled by emotional tides. I can be present.

Of course, easier said than done. But there are simple tools that have helped me come back to equanimity when I notice myself getting off-center:

Practices to Cultivate Equanimity:

1. Pause Before You Speak or Act

Before reacting to a situation, take a deep breath. Ask yourself: What is my intention? That little pause can change everything.

2. Check in with Your Body

Our bodies often tell us when we’ve lost our center. Tight jaw? Racing heart? Shallow breath? Take a moment to ground. Feel your feet. Exhale.

3. Create a Centering Morning Practice

Even just five minutes of meditation, breathwork, or stillness each morning can help you start the day from your center instead of catching up to it.

4. Embrace the Present Moment

Equanimity lives in the now—not in the past, not in the future. Practice bringing your full awareness to what is happening right here, right now.

5. Visualize the Scale

When you feel emotionally charged, picture that balancing scale. Is it tipping? Can you step back into the middle, allowing both sides to exist without letting either one define your state?

This month, I’m recommitting to the practice of equanimity. Not to be perfect, not to be above it all—but to stay connected, present, and at peace within myself. To respond from my soul, not from my stress.

The Good the Bad and the Equanimity
By Dr. Lori

As we pass through the Spring Equinox I contemplate the meaning of “equinox,” the root word “equal,” and our Vital Living word of the month “equanimity.” During the equinox the Earth’s axis and its orbit line up so both hemisphere’s get an equal amount of sunlight and day and night also get about the equal amount of time! It’s the arrival of Spring and the time of year when the days will start getting longer than the nights. As the earth is waking up with new growth, so too can we be inspired with new ideas and new ways of being.

How about the root word “equal.” It’s technical definition is “same in quality or value.” In the bible, John 3:16 declares “in God’s eyes we are created equal.” Buddhism dharma in the Lotus Sutra clearly indicates the equality of all men and women. Most religions speak of it as well. Throughout history equality has been and continues to be a hot issue.

Then there’s “equanimity.” Is equanimity a state of being? A way of life? A belief system? A philosophy? A spiritual discipline? A Buddhism concept? In Nicole’s writing she gives the technical definition and also a more personal meaning for her. She then offers vital practices to cultivate equanimity in our lives. These are all such important practices, and being balanced and grounded with a calm peaceful mind free from reaction to external upheavals sounds so wonderful! Why wouldn’t everyone want a life like this? Let’s explore why some resist going down the path of equanimity and what we can do to face these resistances.

First we have to get past the idea that equanimity means indifference or lack of caring (practicing equanimity creates deep passion and compassion.) Second we need to ask ourselves, are we truly interested in having the same reaction to external stimuli, regardless of what the stimuli are? Are we willing to set our biases and judgements aside and internalize things as “equal” or “of equal value?” This is the challenge. There is a resistance to responding equanimously to things. There is a learned tendency to want to encourage and praise the “good” and put an end to the “bad.” Equanimity dictates that I respond to Hitler and Mother Theresa in the same way. It guides us to react the same to someone carelessly throwing trash on the ground and someone helping clean up a beach. It asks us to assign equal value to all of these things. And how does this make us feel? Obviously we all feel differently about different things. We are passionate about some things and less passionate about others. We have personal preferences and all kinds of judgements. To find peace in our heart and soul and practice equanimity, we must be self-aware of our judgements and preferences and own them as ours and come from a place of power, yet not react from this judgement to what is outside of ourselves. And definitely being grounded and secure helps us do this. With practice we can see everything for its true value, simply observing and appreciating all the lessons they bring us. We can still be true to ourselves and act when needed, just not react! We can learn to trust that everything is created equal, the “good,” the “bad” and everything in between.

I often find it’s hardest to practice equanimity when it comes to myself. When I forget something, acquire an infection or have inflammation, or accidentally injure myself, it’s easy for me to get upset and have a strong emotional/physical/mental reaction. I judge myself for not being careful or not sleeping enough or working too hard or not drinking enough water. Am I willing to practice equanimity here? Can I stop, take a deep breath and see this as a way to work on self judgement and being hyper critical? What a great lesson! Judgement and criticism certainly do not support change and growth and will likely keep me stuck in recurring patterns and habits. Embracing equanimity on the other hand allows me to gently observe all of life, even my judgements, with humor, compassion and deep love. Each moment is a new step to take and a new adventure to embark upon! I’m looking forward to more equanimity practice in my life!