September Newsletter 2025: “Achievement”

The other night, my team and I won an Emmy Award for 100 Foot Wave. It was our third year being nominated and our first year winning Best Documentary. After more than fifteen years of working on this project, it felt surreal to hear them call our name.

But here’s the thing: this wasn’t just a creative project where we wrote a script or crafted a story. This was our life on screen. We let the cameras capture the rawest of moments — snot dripping down our faces as our whole family went through COVID together, the intimate and vulnerable home birth of my third child, and countless other moments that most people would never share publicly. At times it felt like our very souls were being judged. And yet, standing in that moment of recognition, it also felt like a completion — a sense that all of that vulnerability was not for nothing.

Another layer of beauty came when I realized who announced our category: two autistic men. Garrett and I actually met through Surfers Healing, an organization that takes autistic children surfing for the day and gives them the joy of riding waves. To have the announcers for our Emmy category be autistic themselves felt like a full circle moment — a reminder that this achievement is tied to service and love, not just personal recognition.

Still, I have to be honest. When they said, “And the winner is 100 Foot Wave,” my first feeling wasn’t, “Now I can serve more people.” It was elation. It was recognition. It was ego. And this is the paradox.

As Ram Dass once said: “As long as you identify with that which achieves, you’re still caught in the ego. True fulfillment isn’t in the achievement, but in the awareness behind it.”

Sai Baba reminds us: “Do not be elated by success or dejected by failure. Both are results of the actions you have performed.”

Eckhart Tolle teaches: “The ego measures success by how much you get. The spirit measures success by how much you can let go.”

And Osho says: “The greatest recognition is to realize that you need none. When you stop seeking approval, you start living.”

Their voices echo the same truth: recognition and achievement belong to the ego, while fulfillment and service belong to the soul.

And yet, there is another truth. In the world we live in, recognition opens doors. Achievement creates visibility. Without them, it is harder to carry out the work of the soul. Paramahansa Yogananda reminds us: “Material success alone will not make you happy. Only the joy of the soul, contact with the divine within, can give real fulfillment.” So the invitation is not to reject achievement or recognition, but to be aware of them — to transform them into service.

For me, this moment has been a lesson in balance. I can acknowledge how my ego loves being recognized and praised, while also being grateful that this recognition allows us to amplify our service in the world. Awareness itself becomes the key — noticing the ego’s hunger, and then choosing to redirect that energy into the soul’s deeper purpose: service, awakening, love.

So here is where I land: achievement can be a beautiful thing if it is born from the soul and directed toward service. But if we pursue achievement merely to satisfy the ego, we will find ourselves out of alignment with our deeper purpose.

When asked what my biggest achievement in life is, I paused and answered, “staying on track with my kuleana (deep responsibility) and not getting too distracted.” And even though this felt truthful, a curious feeling arose as my ego mind wanted to exclaim some bigger worldly achievement like “you got a medical degree, you healed yourself from a broken neck, you help birth babies!” My fragile ego started this crazy conversation in my head about failure and not having big enough achievements, and I was suddenly hurled into a self-worth challenge when I said my biggest achievement was simply “living my kuleana.” It amazes me how pervasive the programming is and how strongly our sense of worth is related to what other people believe are important achievements in life, and the recognition we get for those achievements!

Our spiritual teachers continually remind us that true reward comes from within, and we don’t need recognition or approval for our achievements. Yet these aspects still drive society and often myself as well. If we get a big acknowledgement from the outside world then we somehow know we are an important person! Then are we worth more?? Then will people pay more attention to us?? It truly is what happens in this world, though we do not have to allow this to run our lives. We can learn that simply being is a fulfilling reward in itself! And if our community or peers show appreciation for who we are in the world by acknowledging us, we can receive this with humility and grace, channel it for higher purpose and continue on our way. Wanting to achieve something FOR the outside reward is the problem. Then we are living someone elses life, not our own.

During my thirteen years at Punahou (K-12) and my total twenty-three years of continuous school (adding in preschool, college and med school), I must say there was quite a bit of emphasis on achieving. My success as a human being relied heavily on outside approval of my achievements. Punahou originally being a Missionary school was set on re-directing children’s priorities towards great accomplishments and success in the outside world. Although I have sincere gratitude for my schooling there, the programming was intense and required more than a few years of therapy to find my way back to who I really was and what was truly important to me. Honestly, I still struggle with it today.

People that know me would probably say I’m a pretty achievement-oriented person. I’m driven, I strive for things and I get things done. As I grow older and wiser, I am slowly exploring being less driven and instead pausing to listen and be more aware of my calling before jumping into the drivers seat. I’m not talking about complacency, just allowing more time to be careful that I am in alignment with my calling and clear with my intentions. I’ve gotten good at barreling forward and achieving more. Now, the pause, the breath, the prayer is the most important consideration as I stay aligned and live my kuleana. I continue to practice daily. When I can live this way, achievements become fulfilling to my soul, rewards are internal, and I feel empowered and at peace. I look at nature, the vis, and see that it doesn’t strive to achieve more and more. Nature simply in its awesome powerful way sustains balance. I see being vitally alive as much more related to being this balance rather than striving to achieve something.