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Mothering the Mother
By Nicole
Whether you are a mother to children, have a mother, or simply know someone who is a mother this is something we all share.
We all come from a mother.
We all, in some way, have been shaped by one. And even if you’ve never had children, even if you’re a man, even if your relationship with your own mother is complicated or distant, there is still a part of you that longs to be mothered.
There is something in all of us that needs that kind of care. I think about mothers in the thick of it. The ones with young babies. The ones who are tired in a way that sleep doesn’t fix. The ones quietly holding everything together.
So much of what a mother does goes unseen. It’s not always in the big moments. Sometimes it’s just holding space. Listening. Being there. A steady presence.
There’s something a mother provides that feels almost impossible to replace. A kind of love, a kind of safety a kind of knowing.
And I don’t believe you have to give birth to be a mother.
We mother each other in so many ways. When I think about what makes a “good” mother it’s not perfection.
It’s patience.
It’s presence.
It’s listening.
It’s empathy.
It’s compassion.
It’s love that doesn’t disappear when things get hard.
I’m really lucky, I have a mom who loves me like that. Unconditionally. Even when she doesn’t agree with me. Even when I’m figuring things out in my own way. She’s still there. And that kind of love stays with you.
Lately I’ve been thinking about how we can offer that same kind of mothering not just to others, but to ourselves.
How do we speak to ourselves when we fall short? How do we hold ourselves when we’re overwhelmed? How do we show up for ourselves when we need it most?
Can we be patient with ourselves?
Can we listen to ourselves?
Can we offer ourselves compassion even on the days we don’t feel like we deserve it?
Because the truth is none of us are perfect. We’re all just doing the best we can.
And maybe it doesn’t stop with us. Maybe this way of being can extend outward.
To our partners.
To our friends.
To the people we pass in our everyday lives.
Some people don’t have their mothers anymore. Some never had the kind of mother they needed. Some feel far away from that kind of love.
So what if we became that for each other?
In small, quiet ways. And even beyond that, what if we brought that same care to the Earth?
If we thought of the planet the way a good mother would
With patience.
With protection.
With deep respect and love.
When I really sit with all of this, it feels simple. It comes back to love. Unconditional love. Loving ourselves. Loving each other. Loving this world we get to be a part of.
And maybe, just maybe, that’s what it means to truly mother.
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